love and lost regrets

So I hear about how gays never find love, but they never really understand what leave means. I think love is radically different for each person, what it means to them, how to show it and how they communicate it. Gay guys never figure themselves out before they go into a relationship, some are so desperate for love that they never look in the mirror and see what they need to improve on in their own personal lives. If they spent thirty minutes even fixing their own lives, they would be surprised at how much better life becomes. Loving and accepting yourself is a beautiful thing, more people should do it, instead of focusing on what makes them unhappy and negative. Focus on how good a simple cup of tea can taste, focus on doing the right things for you, pay of your bills, pay off unnecessary funds. After that, start building your life up, get what you want and make yourself happy, then focus on love. Why do guys never love the guy that loves them deeply, i never understand that, it happens to me too, i meet guys that i can never have, but i adore because of something about them, but then guys that I would never acknowledge fall in love with me, just because i am not sexually attracted to them. So yeah, i feel that i show love by cooking, cuddling, watching movies, and doing simple signs of affection, such as a playful punch, or playfully wrestling. /I love physical contact, just a little touch here and there, nothing too pda. I regret that i never act on how i feel, for good or bad and for the worst sometimes, but why is it that the worst is always one my end and never on there, or at least that is how it emotionally feels to me, like I am always the one that takes the hurt, but never really heals